More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
