you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
