We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
