break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
