Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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