Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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