But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
