What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
