there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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