You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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