so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
