i would punch a child for taco bell
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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