Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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