One girl and one boy is just not enough.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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