Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
