Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
