my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
