MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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