So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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