i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
