if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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