So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
They have beer where we have blood.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
