Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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