So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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