Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
