Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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