yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
