At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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