Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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