her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
