so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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