9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
