I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
