I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
