i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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