The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
