The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
