Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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