where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
