I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
