I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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