YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
