Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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