Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I looked at my own cervix.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
