I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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