Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
