It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
