She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
