What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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