Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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