No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
COCAINE IS GR8
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
