Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
