The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
