on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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