I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
