Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
