You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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