Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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