Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Small penises have feelings too.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She's the barista slut.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
