if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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