I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
