Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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