haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
