he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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