hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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